When Your Inner Voice Feels Like a Critic, Not a Companion
You’ve always been the responsible one, the helper, the high-achiever—the one who knows what to say and who others depend on. But now, that role feels like a costume you can't take off. When the performance ends, you’re left wondering: Who am I, really?
Or maybe your identity has never felt like your own. You’ve masked parts of yourself to fit in, to feel safe, or to avoid judgment. Now, you’re trying to unmask—but it’s hard to know where to start.
Clients seeking self-esteem therapy in Calgary often share a similar truth: “I don’t know who I am without other people’s expectations.”
Common Struggles with Self-Esteem or Identity
- Persistent self-doubt or imposter syndrome
- Difficulty making decisions or trusting your own judgment
- Shame around neurodivergence, gender identity, or emotional sensitivity
- People-pleasing or emotional suppression to “keep the peace”
- Disconnection from joy, values, or authentic expression
- Comparing yourself constantly and coming up short
These are not personal failures. They’re signs that the stories you’ve been living were never truly written by you.
What Causes Self-Esteem Wounds?
Low self-esteem is not a defect. It's a survival strategy.
Many clients learned early that approval = safety. They became adaptive shapeshifters—attuned to what others wanted, skilled at becoming that person, even if it cost them their center.
Others carry deep shame from trauma, marginalization, or constant invalidation. Over time, this erodes trust in your own emotions, perceptions, and needs. As this process evolves, people begin to internalize these messages of: “I’m too much.” “I’m not [good] enough.” “I have to earn my place.”
And for many neurodivergent and gender-diverse clients, the world simply hasn’t made space for who they are to exist authentically. This is the heart of identity counselling, which can help you stop editing yourself and start expressing yourself.
What Therapy Looks Like
At Mindful Mage Counselling, therapy is not about “fixing” you. It’s about rebuilding trust in yourself—your thoughts, your voice, your desires.
Here’s how we approach self-esteem and identity therapy:
- Narrative therapy – rewrite internal stories that equate worth with perfection
- CBT & DBT tools – identify self-critical thinking and build emotional resilience
- Strength-based reflection – highlight what’s working, not just what’s broken
- Values discovery – clarify what you stand for, outside of others’ scripts
- Gaming & story-based metaphors – explore identity like building a custom character in an RPG
- LGBTQ+ affirming therapy – celebrate and support identity without pathologizing it
- Neurodivergent-informed pacing – structure sessions with flexibility and sensory awareness
Whether you’re reclaiming your voice, discovering who you are beyond roles, or questioning long-held labels, this is a place to explore, reframe, and grow.
Fox's Thoughts
You are not too much. You are not ‘not enough’.
You are complex. You contain pieces you haven’t met yet—and that’s exciting, not shameful. My role is to help you unearth, name, and integrate those pieces until your internal world feels like it finally fits.
Sometimes we respawn in the wrong server. There’s just more of you waiting to be known and discovered.
Ready to Rebuild Your Relationship with Yourself?
If you're looking for a neurodivergent therapist in Calgary, an LGBTQ+ affirming counsellor, or simply someone to help you feel like yourself again, let’s begin that journey—on your terms.